


A Walking Cliche

by Aria_Lerendeair



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Confusion, Fluff, Gabriel in a toga, M/M, Minor Angst, Miscommunication, Muse!Gabriel, Teasing, Writer!Sam, cuteness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-26
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-05-29 03:36:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6357334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aria_Lerendeair/pseuds/Aria_Lerendeair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam is six years old when he gets a chance to pick a muse. Not all kids get a muse, only the special ones, and he’s special just like Dean. He knows exactly which muse he’s going to pick, the one with the pretty golden eyes. Eighteen years as Muse and Aspirant later, there’s a big misunderstanding, which leads to some revelations and catching up on lost opportunities for them both.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE AMAZING ART HERE!!!!
> 
> IT'S SO ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND IT'S EMBEDDED INTO THE FIC, BUT YOU SHOULD GO GIVE HER ALL OF THE LOVE TOO!!! 
> 
> [SammyColt24 Fanart](http://sammycolt24.livejournal.com./12590.html/)

 

Sam gave an impatient tug on the bottom of his Mom’s shirt, looking around. “Mommy, we’re going to be late,” he insisted.

 

“Shh, it’s okay sweetheart, there will be plenty of muses left for you when they get there. Don’t worry,” Mary soothed.

 

Sam held on tighter to Mom’s shirt. It didn’t matter how many muses there were, he knew which one he wanted. The one with the golden eyes that laughed bright and loud. He seemed nice and not scary. “But Mommy, what if someone picks the muse I want?” he whispered, glancing towards the stairs, wishing his Daddy would hurry up.

 

Mary looked down at her son and bent down. “Don’t worry Sam. Your Dad will be ready soon and I’m sure you’ll get a wonderful muse.”

 

Sam pouted and hid his face in Mommy’s leg when Daddy _finally_ came down the stairs. Someone else would have taken the golden-eyed muse. He was so pretty and funny and wonderful. Someone would have picked him first.

 

He managed to put on his Big Boy face, just like Dean would have wanted and nodded when his Dad asked if he was excited to finally get his chance to pick a muse. Most boys and girls didn’t get muses. He was _special_.

 

 

~!~

 

 

By the time they pulled up to the Center for Gifted Children, Sam could see that they were more than hour late. Mrs. Tran had warned them not to be late, because all the good muses would be gone if they were. Sam bit down hard on his lip as he took Mommy’s hand and followed her into the center. He’d wanted a good muse. He’d wanted the golden eyed muse!

 

“Ah, finally, Sam, there you are! We were worried you weren’t going to come!” Mrs. Tran said as she bustled forward, taking his hand.

 

Sam looked down at his new shiny shoes and mumbled, “‘m sorry Mrs. Tran.”

 

“Well, no matter, you’re here now. Mister and Missus Winchester, please follow Sam into the room, but allow him to choose on his own. A true connection between muse and artist will be formed only if Sam is allowed to pick on his own,” Mrs. Tran said, leading the family towards an area where they could wait off to the side of the room.

 

Sam glanced back at his parents and waved quickly, before following Mrs. Tran into the Selection Room. He could see a few muses standing around still, looking bored. He bit down on his lip. He couldn’t see the golden eyed muse.

 

Sam let go of Mrs. Tran’s hand and slowly shuffled into the room. There was a muse who kept staring at him, and he had bright blue eyes like Cas, Dean’s muse. ‘cept his eyes weren’t as nice as Cas’. He bit down on his lip and walked around the room, once, twice, and then one more time.

 

The muse wasn’t here. Of course he wasn’t. He’d been picked first. He shoulda known he wouldn’t get the muse he wanted. Sam stuffed his hand in his pocket and clenched it into a tight fist. _Dean_ hadn’t been late. He’d gotten to pick his muse first, and Cas was wonderful.

 

Sam kicked at the floor. He didn’t want to pick any of these muses. He wanted the golden-eyed muse.

 

“Sam…”

 

Sam snapped straight and turned to look at his father over his shoulder. Daddy was starting to look angry and impatient. He swallowed and looked back to the muses. There was a lady with brunette hair. She didn’t look _awful_. Maybe a little boring, but...she wasn’t scary like the muse with the blue eyes.

 

“Are we seriously going to wait for this kid any longer? I swear, let’s just call the round over and he can just deal with picking next year!”

 

Sam jumped when the door snapped open and his eyes went wide as the golden eyed muse walked through the door. “You’re here!” he shouted, running towards him.

 

Gabriel scowled at the kid that had been so late he’d had to leave to help one of his other Aspirants. All in the day of being a busy muse. Or at least that’s what he pretended. “Yeah, kid, I’m here, you’re late and I frankly have plenty of other fucking things I could be-”

 

Sam reached out and grabbed Gabriel’s hand, yanking on him hard, feeling a jolt go through him. He shivered and held on tighter. This part was _important_ and he had the muse he’d _wanted_ and now he was _his_. “I’m Sam! I’m going to be one of your Aspirants!” he said, smiling up at the golden eyed muse.

 

Gabriel blinked down at the kid and then looked around them. Couple of well-meaning and boring muses who showed up every time, fucking Lucifer, for god-knew-what-reason, who never showed up to these things, and then of course, yours fucking truly. Not surprising the kid latched onto him. “Hi Sam,” he said, raising an eyebrow at the parents. “I’m Gabriel, your muse.”

 

Sam gave a little bounce and held on to Gabriel’s hand tighter, waving to his Mom and Dad. “Mommy, Daddy, I got my first choice! His name is Gabriel!”

 

Gabriel was so surprised he almost didn’t start moving when Sam tugged him towards the two harried looking parents standing by the wall of the room. _First choice?_ He’d been Sam’s first choice? He was never anyone’s first choice. He was a solid second, usually third, and sometimes fourth if they had a big enough group.

 

Gabriel managed to pull himself together enough and looked down at the boy who was still grinning at him like he’d hung the damn moon. He swallowed hard. He could feel the kid’s soul, pulsing happily, their connection now solidified. “Why was I your first choice, Sam?” he asked, the parents leading the way back to the car.

 

Sam blinked up at Gabriel and smiled. “Because! You’re funny and nice and I liked your introduction, aaaaaaand, you said you didn’t just like to inspire just _one_ thing, you said lotsa things, and I liked that best!”

 

He gave Sam a bemused smile and glanced towards the parents. They were mostly ignoring the two of them, and Sam had a firm grip on his hand as they walked. “You’re a strange kid, you know that, Sam?”

 

“Yup!” Sam agreed. “But I think you’re a little weird too, and I think we can be weird together, and no one can tell us different, cause we’re together.”

 

Gabriel felt his lips stretch into a grin and he squeezed Sam’s hand. “I think I like the sound of that Sam.”

 

“Good!” Sam said, stopping at the car, before turning to look up at Gabriel again. “You’ll come visit me now, right?”

 

Gabriel nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I’ll try to visit when you need me, but I might not always be able to.”

 

Sam gave a serious nod. “Okay. Do you need my address?”

 

Gabriel chuckled and shook his head. “I’ll always know where you are now, don’t worry.”

 

Sam gave a delighted grin and Gabriel couldn't help staring down at where the kid was holding onto his hand so tightly it would have hurt another human.

 

"How?" Sam asked, chewing on his lip as they stopped beside the car.

 

Gabriel grinned and knelt down in front of Sam. "How about you ask me that question after we get to your house?"

 

Sam's eyes went wide. "Are you coming in the car with us?"

 

Gabriel shook his head. "Nope. You're going to call me. This'll be the best way for you to learn how."

 

Sam nodded, his face turning serious. "How do I call you?"

 

"Close your eyes," Gabriel ordered, lifting Sam's hand and pressing it against Sam's heart. "You feel your heartbeat?"

 

"Yes," Sam whispered, biting down on his lip.

 

"Good. Focus on your heartbeat. Do you feel something?" Gabriel asked, unable to keep from smiling as the kid's face got even more screwed up in concentration.

 

Sam nodded. "Yes. A, uh, it's warm."

 

"That's me," Gabriel said, keeping his voice steady and calm. "I want you to reach out for that warmth, imagine yourself doing it and then give it a small squeeze and call my name."

 

"Okay," Sam agreed, focusing on the warm ball of light he could feel in his chest. He pretended he was reaching in and wrapping his hand carefully around it before he called Gabriel. "Gabriel."

 

Gabriel stumbled a fraction closer to the kid as the strength and power of that summons rocketed through him. His eyes went wide and he stared down at the kid. Holy shit, this kid was _powerful_. "Good job," he choked out, coughing to cover any awkwardness. "Just do that when you get home and I'll be there in a minute."

 

Sam opened his eyes and gave Gabriel a bright grin. "Okay! You can meet my brother and his muse! His name is Castiel, do you know him?"

 

An image of his by-thousands-of-years younger brother rose to his mind and Gabriel chuckled. "I know him a little bit. It's been a while since we talked."

 

Sam nodded and jolted when his father cleared his throat. "I'll see you in a little bit."

 

Gabriel nodded and urged Sam into the car, watching as Sam's parents climbed in as well and got on their way. He closed his eyes and focused on the ball of light he could feel inside him now. It might have been his imagination, but Sam's soul was so much brighter than some of the others.

 

Strange, but not unwelcome.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

Sam curled up in a tight ball in his bedroom and covered his ears with his hands as his brother and father kept arguing downstairs. He could hear Dad shouting, telling Dean that going off to college was a stupid dream and they couldn't afford it, and he needed Dean's help around the house, with him.

 

Castiel's voice spoke next, quiet and firm and Sam curled up tighter. If Dean had to leave tonight and he was left alone with Dad...

 

He pressed a hand to his chest and tried to breathe, focusing on the ball of light that was always in his chest. Sam closed a hand around it and gave a small tug, afraid to pull too hard as he whispered Gabriel's name. "Gabriel, please, _please_ come," he called, the sound of a plate shattering downstairs making him flinch.

 

"Kiddo?" Gabriel asked, looking around the small room he was in. He'd felt the desperate call from Sam, and it was different than the usual desperation he was used to. Aspirants desperate for that right word, the right lyric, the right note, all of that desperation was familiar.

 

This? With Sam? Was something he had never felt, and yet Sam's need for him was so strong, there was no way he could have ever ignored it. He sat down on the bed beside Sam, reaching out to comb his fingers through Sam's hair, just like his mother used to do. "Sam, will you tell me what's wrong?"

 

Sam choked on a small sob and turned, flinging himself into Gabriel's lap. He didn't care that he was fourteen and he was supposed to not cry anymore. If Dean left, he wouldn't be able to get out for another four years, and he'd be stuck here, stuck here forever!

 

"Woah!" Gabriel said, barely managing to keep his balance before he steadied himself, keeping a firm grip on Sam. "Hey, it's okay kiddo, I've got you, I promise," he said, leaning in closer, wrapping his arms around Sam. A loud shout from downstairs had him looking up and scowling.

 

He closed his eyes and reached out for Castiel's presence, and he could feel it, standing beside and protecting Dean. Castiel was a severely under-utilized muse, having only Dean as an Aspirant, but he took that job very seriously and did everything he could to protect and inspire him. Gabriel took a deep breath and focused on Sam again. "Sam?"

 

"I just want them to stop fighting, but then Dean is going to leave, and he'll leave me behind, because I can't go with him, and I'll be stuck here," Sam sobbed, pressing his face into the soft white of Gabriel's robes. It was clear Gabriel had just come from another time, but had come when he called, just like he always did.

 

"Don't worry," Gabriel whispered, breathing out slowly as he combed his fingers through Sam's hair. "It'll be all right, and if you think for a single second that Dean would go anywhere without you, you're very wrong."

 

"Gabriel," Sam whispered, holding onto him tightly. "Will you still be my muse, no matter where we are, no matter what happens?"

 

Gabriel chuckled and leaned down to press a kiss to Sam's hair. "I will always be your muse, Sam. That's how we work, after all. No matter where you are, if you call me, I will do my absolute best to make sure I am there."

 

Another crash from downstairs had Sam flinching and he held onto Gabriel even tighter than before. "Can you give me an idea, Gabriel? A story idea, so I can write something and pretend that I'm doing homework or something?"

 

"Always," Gabriel whispered, cradling Sam carefully in his arms. He closed his eyes and reached out with his powers, wrapping them around Sam until the idea that Sam had asked for was there. It was always so easy with Sam, the ability to pull an idea.

 

With other Aspirants he had to work, sometimes struggle to pull the ideas that his humans wanted. But with Sam, who wanted nothing but the broadest ideas, nothing specific, he was a true joy to work with. "How do you feel about fantasy?"

 

"Dragons?" Sam asked, his lips widening into a smile.

 

"Dragons _and_ unicorns," Gabriel whispered, taking a deep breath before he began to talk, his power, and the idea starting to sink into Sam, where the idea would remain his forever.

 

By the time he'd talked himself hoarse, the full idea having been spread out in front of Sam, Sam was grinning again, his fingers already twitching as though he wanted to start writing then and there. "How's that?"

 

Sam nodded and stretched, standing from the bed before going to grab his computer. He climbed back into bed and pushed himself up and against Gabriel and settled in with the computer. "Can you stay for a little bit?"

 

Gabriel closed his eyes and checked on the status of his other Aspirants. None of them needed him this moment, and wouldn't mind if he was with Sam for several more hours. "Yeah, I can stay for a little bit."

 

Gabriel relaxed as the sound of Sam typing filled the room. If he started humming to drown out the sound of the shouting and crashing downstairs, well, Sam didn't seem to notice, completely lost in the idea that Gabriel had given him. It might not have been his best, but Sam liked it, and that was all that was important.

 

When Sam finally dozed off, his fingers pressing a few of the keys down, Gabriel carefully took the laptop from him and saved the document before closing the computer. He put it back on the desk and got it charging before he tucked Sam into bed.

 

It wasn't long before Dean came into the room, followed closely by Castiel. He looked at both of them and raised an eyebrow when they froze at the sight of him. "He's sleeping. Try to keep quiet."

 

Dean and Castiel nodded together and Gabriel turned to look at Sam once more before he blew out a breath and disappeared. He'd done everything he could for the evening.

 

~!~

 

"What if you blew up the coffee shop?" Gabriel offered as an idea, snickering when Sam glared at him over his shoulder.

 

"That might be a tad counterproductive to the date they're trying to have," Sam said, turning to glare at the words on the screen.

 

Gabriel popped another piece of popcorn into his mouth and then grinned again. "What about having him start to play footsie with her? Definitely a turning of the tables and I'm sure she'd appreciate it."

 

"Gabriel!" Sam said, his voice almost scandalized. He turned to look at his computer, glad that those words hadn't magically materialized on the screen. Gabriel had only done that once, and when he'd been caught (with a very random, steamy scene between the three main characters) he had promised not to do it again, at least not without permission.

 

"What?" Gabriel asked, tearing his gaze away from the television. "It's a good idea and you know you're going to write down a note to write that later."

 

Sam huffed and did exactly that, because it was good, and went well with the character that he was writing. She would enjoy turning the tables. "That's besides the point."

 

"Nope, that's my exact point!" Gabriel said with a laugh, eating a few more pieces of popcorn.

 

"Yeah," Sam agreed, huffing and staring at the computer. "But that doesn't solve the dilemma of what to have them talk about!"

 

Gabriel tapped a finger on his jaw and looked over at Sam. "Why don't you do some field research since you don't like my suggestions?"

 

Sam blinked and turned to face Gabriel properly. "Field research?"

 

"Yeah!" Gabriel said, grinning brightly at the idea. "Go on a date in a coffee shop. It's been a few months since you broke up with Jessica, time to start rebounding. Take notes on what you talk about and put them into the story!"

 

"But I'm not interesting enough! We'll only talk about boring shit!" Sam protested, chewing on his lip. There was the other half of that problem that he didn't want to admit to. The fact that he didn't want to date anyone else. Being in love made that rather difficult.

 

Gabriel snickered again. "Well, clearly you need to pull out that old dialogue research book again and pick a few things, because other than that, I'm out of ideas."

 

Sam huffed. "You're never out of ideas."

 

"While that is usually true," Gabriel conceded, looking at Sam. "There's only so much I can do to make first date conversation interesting. So either, something needs to happen and cause them to have an interesting conversation, or you need to change up the scene."

 

Gabriel was right, though he was not about to admit that. Sam sighed and stared at the blinking cursor for a few more minutes before he saved the document and snapped the lid of the laptop shut. He strode over to Gabriel and flopped on the couch next to him, holding out his hand for some of the popcorn. Gabriel passed it over a moment later.

 

Sam took in Gabriel's outfit and chuckled. "Ancient Greece again?"

 

Gabriel looked down at the toga and shrugged. "You know time doesn't work for me like it does for you."

 

Sam chuckled and reached out to steal the popcorn bag from Gabriel. No matter what he was wearing, whether it was the toga from ancient greece, or another outfit that fit in with where his Aspirants were from, he never cared when he showed up here. Just flopped wherever he was comfortable. Sam kinda loved that, a lot.

 

He also kinda loved Gabriel, so that might have had something to do with it. He blew out a breath and focused on the television. "Did the guy from ancient greece call you to bitch about epic poetry again?"

 

"Yes!" Gabriel with with a groan, slumping dramatically.

 

Sam definitely didn't eye the way Gabriel's toga rode up on his thighs, leaving his legs almost entirely exposed. He focused on Gabriel's face again and raised an eyebrow. "Well, thank god I let you inspire whatever you feel like with me," he said, clearing his throat. Hopefully Gabriel didn't find him as irritating as he did some of his other Aspirants.

 

"Kiddo," Gabriel said, letting out a sigh. "You are the single biggest breath of fresh air compared to the others. Yeah, sometimes you get stuck on things, like conversations in a coffee shop, but it's not like you blame me for being unable to inspire."

 

Sam snorted and stretched out on the couch, letting one leg rest on Gabriel's thighs. Gabriel just rested the bag of popcorn on top of his leg and Sam grinned. "It's not your fault if I'm writing something stupid, or terrible. Sometimes I need to just step away from it and see if it's able to be fixed. If it's not, you and I can toss around other ideas."

 

"Yeah, see," Gabriel started, turning to look at Sam. "Other people don't think that way. Don't think that muses work that way. They blame us."

 

Sam shrugged. "Then they didn't read the handbook they were given."

 

Gabriel laughed and leaned back into the couch cushions. "I think you are the only six year old who read that whole handbook front to cover. Several times over."

 

"It was useful!" Sam protested, glaring a little bit at Gabriel. He blew out a breath and focused on the television again, rather than the temping line of leg he could still see underneath his.

 

Gabriel reached out and patted Sam on the leg, turning to the television. "Never change Sammich. I'd get bored and I think we both know what kind of havoc I like to wreck when I'm bored."

 

Sam snorted and rolled his eyes. He knew all too well what a bored Gabriel looked like, and the more that he could keep Gabriel entertained, the better. "Shut up and watch your television. I'll try to change the channel to something sooner or later."

 

Gabriel huffed and refocused on Judge Judy. "Modern day is so much better than the past for entertainment sake."

 

"What about the future?" Sam asked, relaxing into the couch, Gabriel's presence making the ball of light inside his chest pulse happily. "Surely there's more forms of entertainment there."

 

Gabriel shrugged and yawned. "Haven't been picked to be a muse by someone far enough in the future to make a difference," he said. "Got a kid who'll be born about ten years from where you are now, and while things are different there, not crazy different."

 

Sam shook his head and wrapped an arm around Gabriel's shoulders. "I still don't understand how you're not the first pick, every single round. I'm so fucking glad I got a chance to have you my year."

 

"So you've mentioned," Gabriel said, unable to stop the warm glow of pleasure he got from Sam reminding him. He could still see it, and feel it like it was yesterday. Sam shouting that he'd gotten his first choice at his parents, holding onto his hand so tightly it would have hurt someone else, and asking about his address and finding him.

 

Sam gave a happy hum and yawned. "Let me know when you want to leave and I'll move, but I could use a nap."

 

Gabriel patted Sam on the leg again. "Go ahead and pass out, I promise that I'll wake you up before it gets too late."

 

"Thanks, Gabe," Sam muttered, leaning back into the cushions as he started to doze off.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

Gabriel woke him up a few hours later, mostly because he was being summoned by another Aspirant and Sam grumbled when he was forced to move. He should keep working on his paper, even though he didn't want to and he still had no idea with what he was supposed to do with that first date scene.

 

But maybe he could just write the next scene and keep moving forward with the overall story. He could come back to it when he'd figured out exactly how he wanted things to go. Sam blew out a breath and stood up, stretching, before going to grab a coke from the fridge.

 

He sat down in front of his computer and started typing. Several hours later, he had what was looking to be an excellent rough draft as long as he could get the ending to behave. It was looking like it would, but on the other hand, Gabriel had a way of taking his endings and twisting them to make them even better.

 

He loved it, but sometimes it drove him crazy and made him add another fifteen or twenty pages (or more!) to the stories he was writing. His teachers loved them, thankfully, and didn't complain when he turned in works that were much longer than the asked-for assignment.

 

Sam blew out a breath and yawned again, stretching easily in the room. Now he needed to go pass out properly so he was coherent for class tomorrow. That was usually important.

 

"Sam!" Gabriel called, appearing in the room with a pop. "I have it! I know exactly what you can do for the first date conversation, _and_ , because I am so damn awesome, I have a way for you to add an even better twist to the end of the story."

 

Sam wanted to groan, because he was tired and he wanted to sleep (or curl up with Gabriel, which wasn't an alternative, but that couldn't stop him from wanting it), but he could never refuse Gabriel when he showed up like this, his eyes bright gold and shining with excitement. There was no one who could refuse Gabriel like this.

 

"Yeah?" he asked, yawning again. "All right, good, because I got some more written, but ideas on that conversation and on the ending would be very welcome!”

 

Gabriel lit up and began babbling out his ideas. Sam tiredly sank down in front of the computer and started writing them down, smiling as Gabriel's enthusiasm started to catch on and he could see how easily these would fit into his story. Gabriel was right, they were _absolutely_ perfect and exactly what he had needed.

 

He stifled another yawn and stared at the clock. Two am bleared back at him and he coughed, looking over at Gabriel. "Hey, Gabe, I gotta go pass out, I need to be up at six."

 

"Oh!" Gabriel said, sitting up on the couch, brushing off his toga. "Yeah, sorry. Timezones. I forget they're a thing."

 

Sam chuckled and waved to Gabriel as he trudged towards his bedroom. "It's fine, and I appreciate the ideas. Have a good night," he called, shuffling in and closing the door.

 

Gabriel looked up at the clock and huffed. Sam never did complain whenever he showed up, he needed to remember to check the time when he came to visit Sam so that way the human could continue to get the sleep that he was supposed to.

 

~!~

 

It took a little while for Sam to call him, which meant that his ideas had really given Sam what he needed so he could finish that project properly. Gabriel couldn't deny how good that made him feel, that just throwing around ideas had been enough to give Sam what he needed.

 

Gabriel popped into Sam's apartment after another selection landed him without any new Aspirants. He blew out a breath and relaxed into Sam's couch. He didn't bother glancing at the clock as Sam came in from outside.

 

He was immediately off the couch and bounding towards Sam, rattling off a few ideas he'd had for his next projects and that Sam needed to write all of these ideas down, because they were absolutely gold. Sam could take advantage of them before he started passing them off to the others. He saved all of his best ideas for Sam, after all.

 

Sam blinked at him and froze and Gabriel backtracked over the past few things he'd said. Nothing that would make Sam angry, so why was he looking at him like that? That didn't make any sense, there was no reason for Sam to make that face.

 

"You give me all of your best ideas?" Sam asked, his voice quiet.

 

Gabriel relaxed. Sam wasn't angry, just surprised. He could definitely work with that. "Of course I do, you're my favorite."

 

Sam rolled his eyes and trudged towards the kitchen, rubbing his eyes sleepily. He wanted nothing more than to sink into his bed and sleep for hours, but it looked like that wasn't going to happen. He pushed his fingers through his hair and tied his hair into a messy bun a moment later, walking out into the living room with a cup of tea.

 

"Muses don't pick favorites," Sam said, sipping at the hot tea. He exhaled and smiled, sinking into the couch.

 

Gabriel scoffed and sprawled out on the couch. "Muses might not be supposed to pick favorites, but we all have 'em. Depends on what our specialties are. Like, mine is the written word, in some capacity. If I had to inspire a painter? I'd do a shit job."

 

Sam chuckled and looked over at Gabriel. "Speaking from personal experience?"

 

"Yes," Gabriel said, his voice a little frustrated. "She eventually agreed to re-pick two years down the line, but before then, it was just sheer misery for her, and for me. I couldn't give her what she needed."

 

"Have you ever been mis-picked like that since?" Sam asked, taking another few sips of the tea, letting the warmth settle down into his stomach, making him relax.

 

"Nah," Gabriel said, waving a hand. "I've definitely got a few drama queens, but that's to be expected. You're the most mellow out of the bunch, which might also directly correlate as to why you're my favorite."

 

Sam laughed and leaned back against the couch, fighting down on a yawn. He couldn't afford to fall asleep yet, not with Gabriel here. He hadn't done that since he was young and Gabriel used to visit and help distract him from what was going on with his father. "So you like me because I'm mellow?"

 

"I like you, because you aren't a high-strung, overly sensitive pissbaby," Gabriel corrected, snapping his fingers and grinning at the bowl of popcorn that appeared in his lap. "Now, how about a movie?"

 

A movie sounded great, as long as Gabriel didn't give a shit if he passed out during it, which was almost certainly going to happen at this rate. Sam yawned and nodded, watching as the television and DVD player came on with another snap. "Have I mentioned that it's creepy that you can do that?"

 

Gabriel laughed and threw Sam a wink. "It's a learned talent, let me tell you," he said, stretching again. "We're watching Die Hard, by the way."

 

Sam groaned and rolled his eyes. "I do not understand your obsession with this movie, I honestly don't."

 

Gabriel grinned, bright and wide. "Well, there's some things I love about it, and then there's others, like the quotability of it, that I just don't get tired of," he said.

 

"I'm going to sleep through it," Sam announced, yawning again. "And you'd better not wake me up until the good parts at the end," he demanded.

 

Gabriel agreed easily enough and Sam was asleep before he had even settled in properly.

 

Gabriel looked up at the clock as soon as Sam had slumped against him, snoring quietly. He threaded his fingers into Sam's hair and combed easily through it, knowing that Sam appreciated the touch and the comfort, even if he had trouble asking for it.

 

He hadn't arrived at an off-time, and yet Sam looked even more exhausted than usual. Gabriel promised himself that he would leave Sam alone for a few days so he could focus on his studies. He could do that. _Probably_.

 

~!~

 

Gabriel ended up breaking his promise less than five hours later, returning so excited with an idea that he could barely sit still. It was _perfect_ and only Sam could write it, do it proper justice, and he had to write all of this down, because his head was practically spinning with all of the ideas and-

 

He pushed into Sam's bedroom without knocking and watched Sam jolt upright in bed. "Sam, I have the most amazing idea!"

 

Sam groaned into his hands and rubbed his face. "Now, Gabriel?"

 

"Yes!" Gabriel insisted. "This is so brilliant, you'll forgive me the second you hear all of it, but I knew that I had to come give it to you, no one else would even come close to doing a prompt like this justice, only you Sam!" he babbled, walking closer to the bed.

 

Sam fumbled for the lamp at his bedside table and flicked it on, pushing his fingers through his hair with a groan. "Gabriel-"

 

"Come on!" Gabriel whined, bouncing impatiently at Sam's bedside. "I've held this in my head for a good three and a half hours already and you're telling me that there's no way you can-"

 

"Gabriel," Sam growled, climbing out of bed. "Did you look at what time it is?"

 

Gabriel opened his mouth and paused, looking over at the clock that read 3:47am. He hummed and smacked his lips together. That was an unusual time for Sam to be awake, which did explain why he had been asleep in bed.

 

He shrugged and hurried towards the door. "I promise that you won't give a damn about your lost sleep when I tell you about this amazing idea!"

 

Sam groaned and rubbed his face again, trying to let some of the adrenaline rush subside after Gabriel had startled him awake. Fucking hell, his heart was still pounding after that. He took a couple of deep breaths and grabbed his hoodie off the chair. Might as well see what Gabriel had as an idea, because heaven knew there was no way that Gabriel was going to leave him alone now.

 

"Sam!" Gabriel called.

 

Sam tugged his hoodie on and padded into the living room, sinking in front of his sleeping computer. He jiggled the mouse and waited for it to finish booting up, trying to suppress another yawn and failing. He looked over at Gabriel, who was pacing determinedly across his living room, looking like he was about to jump out of his own skin. "All right, computer is ready to go."

 

Gabriel bounced excitedly and immediately made his way over to Sam, draping himself on Sam's shoulder as he started to rattle off ideas. Sam typed, slowly but diligently, trying to make sure that he captured everything Gabriel had, because there certainly were a lot of different ideas that he could take advantage of. He blew out a breath when Gabriel took a pause, only for him to keep going. "Gabriel, hold on, hold on!" Sam said, pushing his fingers through his hair. "Gotta slow down here!"

 

"You're a fast enough typer, keep up!" Gabriel goaded, closing his eyes as he started to pace around the room again, going even deeper into his first idea, throwing out ideas for love interest as well as character development.

 

The longer Gabriel talked, the more Sam started to realize that this wasn't one of Gabriel's normal ideas where Sam had to fill in the holes and he was given the core idea of something to work with. No. This was _special_. Gabriel had almost everything. The characters, though none of them had names, some of their behaviors, their growth throughout the story. All of it, somehow stored in Gabriel's head and he was giving it to Sam.

 

Sam blew out a breath and kept tying, abbreviating where he could to keep up with Gabriel and everything he was rattling off. By the time Gabriel finally finished, panting slightly, Sam was doing his best to ignore the clock that read 4:53am. His alarm would be going off in seventeen minutes. He resisted the urge to groan, and instead rubbed his eyes again. _Fuck_ , they were hurting.

 

"Shit!" Gabriel swore, biting his lip. "I didn't mean to keep going on for that long, but as you can tell, I have a lot of ideas around this that I want you to try to play with and I think you're going to have fun with. I'll let you get some sleep now," he said, before disappearing.

 

Sam let out a hoarse laugh, his head dropping to the desk. He closed his eyes for only half a second before his alarm clock from the other room was blaring, bright and loud. Sam whined and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. _Fuck_. He loved the idea from Gabriel, he did, and it would without a doubt turn into a full length novel.

 

But he needed to figure out a way that would keep Gabriel from showing up at the crack of dawn like that. Especially on school nights. Sam rubbed his hand through his hair and blew out another breath. Jesus, what the hell was he supposed to do today? He was going to a zombie in every single one of his classes.

 

He forced himself to get up, walking over to the alarm clock to turn it off. Sam gave himself a few seconds to contemplate the idea of crawling back into bed before he turned and walked towards the shower. He had too much shit to do at school and Jess wasn't in all of his classes and could only cover him for notes in a few things.

 

Sam turned the water up to scalding and stepped into the shower. He'd manage. And Gabriel was right, the idea had absolutely been worth it.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

"You look dead on your feet, Sammy," Dean said, studying his brother.

 

Sam chuckled and pushed some of his hair out of his face. "Accurate description, thank you, Dean."

 

"Any time," Dean responded on reflex, studying the bags under Sam's eyes. "What's going on though? This goes beyond college kid tired."

 

Sam wanted to explain, but he knew that all it would accomplish was Dean launching into a 'That's not what Castiel does' lecture for him again, and he really wasn't feeling up to it. "Nothing," he muttered, rubbing at his face again. He needed to go home and pass out. Pass out and not even think about his computer, or muses, ever again.

 

"You get a girlfriend?" Dean asked, waggling his eyebrows.

 

Sam scowled and glared at his brother. As if he wanted to even think about someone else when he had Gabriel. Not that the muse thought of him in that way, but he wasn't about to date someone else and have them thinking that he was in love with someone else. Because he kinda was. In love, with Gabriel. "No, I didn't get a girlfriend."

 

Dean perked up a little. "Boyfriend?"

 

Sam groaned and buried his face in his hands. "No, Dean."

 

"Well, if you aren't being kept up late by copious amounts of sex, I want to know what the hell is keeping you from getting your beauty sleep. Cause trust me, Samantha, you need it."

 

Sam growled at his brother and lifted his face from his hands. "I'm going to stab you, I swear that I'm going to end up stabbing you."

 

Dean smirked. "So, what is it? Come on, spill."

 

Sam exhaled hard, and pushed his fingers through his hair, spinning away from Dean to face the ceiling. "It's Gabriel."

 

"Gabriel," Dean repeated, raising both of his eyebrows. "How the hell is Gabriel keeping you from sleeping?"

 

Sam sighed again, and stared at the speckled ceiling. Why did cheap ceilings always look like that. "There's nothing wrong, I mean, it's totally fine. Gabriel's just woken me up, the last two nights in a row, for this idea."

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Two nights in a row and you're looking like you haven't slept in a week. What gives?"

 

"I work, remember? So between school, work and Gabriel, I probably haven't slept properly in over a week," Sam said, sighing. "And I'm not angry, I'm not, but I really just need Gabriel to chill and leave me the hell alone for-"

 

"Well, you should have told me."

 

Sam sat up in shock and looked at where Gabriel was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a scowl on his face. He hadn't seen an expression like that on Gabriel's face in years. Not since he used to live with his father. "Gabriel-"

 

"No, no, you don't need to say anything more. You need me to chill. Leave you the hell alone," Gabriel said, ticking them both off his fingers. "Right. Consider your wish granted."

 

"Gabriel!" Sam shouted, jumping out of his chair, reaching for the muse, but he was already gone. He pressed a hand to his heart and focused on his bond with Gabriel. But for the first time since he had made the bond with the muse as a child, the glow of warmth in his chest that he had become used to was gone.

 

"Sam-"

 

"Shut up," Sam snarled, pressing harder at his chest, where he used to feel that constant warmth and touch of Gabriel's presence. "Gabriel, come on, don't ignore my call. Please don't my call. I want you here, you misunderstood, please," Sam begged.

 

Dean watched his brother for a few minutes longer, his quiet whispers to himself getting more and more desperate until he was pacing around the room, talking to Gabriel. "Maybe-"

 

"You've done enough!" Sam shouted, turning to Dean, his face tear-stained. "Go home!"

 

Dean flinched and headed for the door, letting himself out. Fine, if the asshole wanted to be like that, then he'd let him sulk in peace until he fell the hell apart. He wrapped his arms tightly around himself and pressed his hand to his chest in a mimic of what Sam had done only seconds earlier.

 

He felt the calm, soothing pulse of Castiel, reaching out to him, reassuring and comforting him through their bond. Dean exhaled hard and looked at the door behind him. Sam would figure something out. He'd come back in a few days and Sam would have something figured out, he was sure of it.

 

Sam paced across the room even faster, his mind whirling. He hadn't meant it and now he couldn't feel Gabriel any longer. He knew, he _knew_ that muses could forsake their humans, when they were no longer compatible, or when the human tied, but this didn't feel like that. This felt like Gabriel had pulled away entirely and Sam was pretty sure his heart was breaking.

 

He sank down on the couch and kept his palm pressed to his heart, rocking himself slowly. "Gabriel, please, I'm sorry," Sam whispered to the empty apartment. With both Dean and Gabriel gone it was easy to see how lonely the place really was. He'd driven them both away, because he was stupid and hadn't meant it. He was just tired, fucking exhausted and he wanted a few nights to sleep.

 

Sam crawled into bed, tucked himself under the blankets and brought the teddy bear Gabriel had given him years ago up to his face, inhaling the scent of the muse that always was tied to the bear. Gabriel's familiar scent flooded his senses and Sam didn't even realize he was crying until a small sob tried to escape his throat.

 

He held on to his bear even tighter and cried, trying to focus on their bond and reach out to Gabriel. Of course the muse wouldn't want him anymore. Because he thought he'd said, that he'd meant...

 

Nothing could have been further from the truth, but he was human, and now, now Gabriel might never come back again. He'd heard stories of that, where muses stopped appearing to their humans for various reasons. Gabriel could even petition to have the bond severed and Sam would never see him again.

 

Pure, inescapable panic surged through him at the idea that Gabriel might want to sever their bond, try to move on to his other Aspirants. Sam sobbed into the bear even harder, his fingers clenched in his soft fur. Gabriel couldn't do that, he _couldn't_. He needed his muse, and he needed him to come back. No matter what it took!

 

~!~

 

Two weeks had gone by without a peep from Gabriel and Sam knew he was a wreck. Emotionally, even physically. When his professors had started asking if he was all right, and commenting that his writing was lacking its usual luster, Sam nearly went home and threw his computer out the window. His writing wasn't missing luster, it was missing something far more important. It was missing Gabriel, and from the looks of things, it would be missing him for a very, very long time.

 

He'd already cried every tear he had over Gabriel. And maybe a few extras when he realized that Gabriel wasn't going to come back. Dean had at least been over to lend him a sympathetic ear, but Cas had appeared not long after Dean had come over, and the last thing Sam could do was watch them give each other looks and moon over the other. They were as obvious as they could get, and yet it was a painful reminder of what he would never again have.

 

Castiel tried to reassure him, to tell him that Gabriel was alive and well, and that he was sure he would return, but that only made it worse. It meant that Gabriel was purposefully keeping the bond locked down, cut off from him, and now he was passing his best ideas off to other Aspirants. Normally Sam wouldn't care, he wouldn't, as long as he got to see Gabriel again. He would not have cared, but the idea rankled.

 

Two weeks after Gabriel had stumbled into the conversation, Sam froze when Gabriel popped into the room. His heart leapt, but there was no warmth flooding through the bond. Instead it remained as cold as it always had been. "Gabriel?" he whispered, taking a few steps towards the muse. Gabriel was wearing an outfit he'd only seen a few times (he preferred the toga, for a multitude of reasons, which Gabriel had detailed in length over the years) and it hurt to see him like that.

 

Even though the jeans, red button up and green jacket looked good on him, there was no wicked smile, or large grin in his direction. Only Gabriel, standing solemnly, holding a sheet of papers. "Gabriel, say something, please."

 

"I apologize for staying away so long. I'm not used to-" Gabriel stopped himself and cleared his throat, looking carefully at the clock. "Here. You've been having trouble with your papers of late. I wrote down some ideas for you," Gabriel said, laying the stack of papers carefully and neatly next to Sam's computer.

 

Sam's mouth was dry and he stepped closer. "You typed them up for me?"

 

"Yes," Gabriel said. "I wouldn't want to take up too much of your time, I know that you're busy."

 

"Gabriel!" Sam admonished, stepping closer, only for Gabriel to turn and walk towards the door. "Wait, I-"

 

"So sorry," Gabriel said, turning to Sam. "But I need to go. I'll return again next week. I won't stay more than an hour so I don't waste your time."

 

Sam's mouth dropped open and he watched Gabriel disappear a moment later. His mind was reeling and he was absolutely certain that he dropped into some sort of alternate universe. Gabriel, trying to be sensitive to his time? Typing up his ideas instead of dictating them from the couch while he ate popcorn?

 

Sam picked a piece of the paper up and skimmed through it. He could hear Gabriel's voice, barely, as he read through the carefully bullet-pointed ideas that the muse had laid out for him. It was like Gabriel had meticulously tried to imitate his style, and it felt so unlike the muse that he was used to Sam dropped the paper and pushed his hands to his face. _Gabriel_. Where was his muse, the Gabriel that he _knew_ , and wanted back more than anything in the world. Where the hell had he disappeared to?

 

Sam picked up the stack of paper after a few minutes and started to skim through the ideas. They were good ones, to be sure. But they didn't, they didn't have the spark that some of Gabriel's ideas had where he couldn't stop writing until he had spent all night doing so, and he was exhausted down to his very bones. Those were both horrible and fantastic all at once. Sam wouldn’t have traded them for the world, and dammit all to hell, he just wanted a chance to _tell_ Gabriel that.

 

Sam expected Gabriel to snap out of it after a visit or two. Sam gave up using any of the ideas that Gabriel gave him, because they felt like good ideas, but they didn’t feel like Gabriel. He’d never been more lost in his career as a writer, and even his teachers were starting to ask him questions about Gabriel and if everything was all right between them. Sam lied through his teeth and said that it was, because if anything was broken, it was all his fault that it was, and that meant that he needs to find a way to fix it.

 

Three trips from Gabriel later, Sam was ready to tear his hair out. Gabriel had very specifically come between noon and five pm on each of his visits and never spent more than an hour with him. Sometimes they talk would through ideas, but Gabriel was very stilted and didn’t stay for popcorn or movies anymore.

 

Sam missed Gabriel even more than he did when the muse was gone. Because this? This wasn't his Gabriel and he wanted _his_ Gabriel back more than anything else in the world. This horrible facsimile just made his heart hurt.

 

During their fourth visit, Sam couldn’t help but want to shout at Gabriel to demand that he snap out of this, that he open up their bond again, let Sam feel him, call for him again! That this wasn’t everything they've spent the last almost twenty years doing together. It was either that or request a new muse and that wasn’t something Sam was willing to contemplate. If he didn’t have Gabriel, he didn’t want a muse at all.

 

An hour to the second passed and then Gabriel was standing up, dusting off his pants that had no dust on them and Sam missed the bare legs that he used to catch glimpses of underneath the toga. The fine golden hair, the way Gabriel's legs would be sprawled all over him as they watched movie after movie together.

 

Sam stood up only a moment later and walked towards where Gabriel was already at the door. "Gabriel," he called, chewing on his lip. Maybe Gabriel was just waiting for their bond to be dissolved on its own.

 

Gabriel tilted his head back just enough to indicate that he'd heard Sam. He didn't turn his head around. "Yes?"

 

Sam clenched his hands into fists and stared at Gabriel's back. "Stay? Please? Maybe watch a movie?"

 

Gabriel took a long time to answer, and Sam couldn’t help but hope that he’d finally gotten through to him, that he'll have a chance to make Gabriel understand-

 

"If you need to me to return, I'll come back tomorrow for an hour. I want to make sure you have what you need," Gabriel said with a firm nod, before opening the door. He only disappeared from the room sometimes now, and Sam missed even that. He closed it behind him with a firm click.

 

Sam moved across the room and pressed his hand to the shut door, clenching his eyes shut. He let out a shaky breath and leaned his forehead against the door, imagining Gabriel standing on the other side. "Gabriel," he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes before they started to fall slowly down his cheeks. "Gabriel, I miss you. _Please_ ," Sam whispered.

 

There's no response, not that he had expected one after the past eight weeks. Sam bit down on his lip hard enough to taste blood and inhaled slowly through his nose before forcing himself to exhale. Keep breathing. He would figure this out. He would absolutely figure this out. He just had to keep pushing.

 

~!~

 

Gabriel closed his eyes and looked heavenward. He had no idea what Sam wanted. Not anymore. A lifetime of knowing every single thing the kid wanted, or was inspired by and now, now he didn’t know anything about Sam. The Sam that didn’t want him around anymore.

 

That knowledge shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. But he'd always known that Sam was destined for bigger and better things. Maybe he should have expected this. He would get Sam whatever he could for inspiration, and then, when the time was right, Sam would request a new muse, just like he should have done years ago.

 

Sam's whispered plea comes like a whisper through the door, and Gabriel feels it resonate through their bond, even as he works to keep it clenched tightly shut, just like it should be.

           

In an instant, it's easy to find anger again. Sam had no right to do this to him, to say that he was not wanted, and then to say that he was missed. Gabriel turned around to glare at the door. He should make the human understand that muses might be gods, but they did have emotions and feelings and-

 

Gabriel stopped himself from grabbing the handle and focused on settling his powers. He would return tomorrow. Sam had already asked for him to do so. They would talk more about this then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, there's some angst. WHOOPS.


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

Sam didn’t know how long it took him to move away from the door, but he didn't give a shit. He turned around and ignored the television, heading straight for his room. At least here, he wasn’t constantly consumed by memories of Gabriel's presence. _No_. Here, it was only his deepest and darkest fantasies of knowing Gabriel was a lover and as a muse.

 

At least those were enough to keep him company in his mind. Sam curled up on the bed and buried himself beneath the covers, focusing on his imagination where he could wrap Gabriel up in his arms and never let go.

 

It took him a long, long time to fall asleep.

 

~!~

 

Sam spent the morning steeling himself for Gabriel's visit. To see the robot again, it was going to hurt, but maybe, _maybe_ he could coax Gabriel into doing something with him. It was a plan, which was more than he had had the day before. He'd make it work.

 

Gabriel knocked politely on the door and Sam winced, walking over to it and pulling the door open. Gabriel pushed past him and into the room and Sam blinked. That was a little different. Maybe if Gabriel had gotten angry, he would get a chance to see some of the old Gabriel that he missed. "Gabriel, are you-"

 

"I don't understand!" Gabriel growled, pacing into the center of Sam's living room, crossing his arms over his chest, turning to glare at the human. "I don't know what you want from me anymore, and whatever the hell it is, I obviously cannot give it to you!"

 

Sam blinked and shut the front door, turning to look at Gabriel properly. At least this was better than the polite indifference. He could work with angry. "What do you mean you don't know what I want from you? Same thing I always have."

 

"No!" Gabriel snarled, stalking forward and poking a finger into Sam's chest. "You said that you wanted me to stay away, so I tried, I tried to do that, but you were pulling me back every single second of the time I was gone, so I figured, mistakenly, _clearly_ , and now, I tried to give you what you wanted, Sam. I _tried_. And I have failed," Gabriel said, pacing across the room, waving his hands.

 

Sam knew that his mouth was hanging open, but whatever he had expected from Gabriel, it hadn't been this tirade. "Gabriel-"

 

"I can't be what you need anymore, that much is abundantly clear, so maybe we just need to accept the inevitable and just realize that you need to pick a new damn muse and I-" Gabriel paused and sucked in a breath of air that he didn't need. "I go back to whatever."

 

Sam could feel his heart breaking all over again, because Gabriel thought that he didn't _need_ him? "Gabriel-"

 

"No!" Gabriel shouted, spinning around to glare at Sam. "I don't know what to do to make you happy, Sam. I tried, but it isn't me, and I can't keep doing it, so if that's what you need, you need to pick a muse that isn't _me_ , and you should just go ahead and get it over with and-"

 

Sam knew that he should have let Gabriel get everything out and should let him finish ranting, but right now, more than anything else in the world, he needed Gabriel in his arms, and the muse to understand that he couldn't ever, ever want anyone else. "Gabriel," Sam whispered, glad that Gabriel had stopped yelling. He hugged the muse as tightly as he would let himself and pressed his face to Gabriel's hair, breathing in slowly.

 

He had to say it. All of it. Now or never. Sam took a deep breath. "Gabriel, you're _perfect_. I love every idea you have ever given me. Every single one. I wish that I had more hours in a day that I could dedicate to writing them all and doing them the justice they deserve." Gabriel had stilled and was frozen, not moving, not breathing and Sam had to wonder if that was a good thing, or if the muse was going to run the second he got the chance.

 

"I just, I need you to understand something for me, and this is important, okay?" Sam whispered. "I'm not sure how you missed this, the past eighteen years, but I'll say it again. I'm _human_. I get a little bit grumpy when I don't get proper sleep several days in a row. Even if the reason is the most amazing idea a writer has ever been given, I'm still going to be pissy due to lack of sleep."

 

Gabriel still hadn't moved or said a word and Sam bit down on his lip before forcing himself to continue. He had to get the rest of this out, had to make sure that Gabriel understood, at least a little. "Just because I get tired, doesn't make the idea any less amazing, or make me want to write it any less."

 

He pulled back just enough and wrapped his hands around Gabriel's face, waiting until golden eyes met his. Sam had loved those golden eyes from the very first moment he'd seen them. "It _certainly_ does not mean that I want you to change. I want you to sit on my couch, get popcorn in the cushions in my couch, throw popcorn at me when I don't quote movies with you, and rattle off ideas so fast I can barely keep up with them all."

 

Gabriel made a small noise, but the muse wasn't pulling away, so Sam pulled Gabriel in close again, cradling him against his chest. "I just want you to understand that I'm probably going to be grumpy when you wake me up in the middle of the night and I don't get to sleep because of an amazing idea."

 

Gabriel was quiet for several, long minutes, and Sam nearly froze when the muse pushed out of his arms, but he didn’t go far, only enough to look up at him properly.

 

"Well, if that's the case," Gabriel said, his voice a little hoarse. "Maybe I should stay over after movie night and I can whisper ideas to you in bed and we can both get some proper sleep that way."

 

Sam couldn’t help but laugh, and he knew it was hopeless, but he couldn’t resist teasing back. "If I thought you'd agree to that idea, I would have offered it up years ago. You're rather cuddly you know."  

 

Gabriel blinked and stared at Sam for a long moment, his heart pounding uncomfortably the longer he stared at the human. That wasn't a real _smile_. That was something that had been a horrible facsimile of the Sam smiles he was used to and it made his heart turn over and clench far too tightly in his chest. He never wanted to see that smile on Sam's face again, but he knew what it meant and why Sam was looking like that, and _fuck_ , his mind was racing too fast and he was staring at Sam, not saying anything at all, so of course, he blurted the first thing that came to mind.

 

"You're in love with me, aren't you?"

 

And now it was even worse. Sam's smile turned sad and hopeless, and so, so, so very wanting. He could feel the want in that smile, and it was tinged with everything, their movie nights while he rattled off idea after idea to Sam, helping him as a child and distracting him, working through ideas with him no matter what they were. But Sam didn't even need to answer, that look, that _expression_ was everything.

 

Gabriel was certain that the entire world had now shifted and refocused on Sam. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Sam if he wanted to, and now it felt like everything was Sam. Everything should have been, just like it _always_ should have been. There were a thousand questions that he wanted to ask, that he needed to ask because of that smile, and he didn’t know which one was going to escape first when he opened his mouth to ask Sam a question.

 

"Is this what getting an idea from me feels like?" Gabriel asked, staring up at Sam.

 

Sam frowned and tilted his head a little in confusion. "I'm sorry?"

 

Gabriel waved between the both of them and huffed. "This? This whole, refocusing around you, and now it feels like you are the center of the universe and I can't look away or move away from you! I don't know what that means, but I can't, I can't see you smile like that again," he admitted, swallowing hard, taking a step towards Sam, wondering why he even put distance between them in the first place. He should have never done that.

 

"That's why I'll never request another muse, Gabriel. Why I _can’t_ ," Sam stressed. "Ever request another muse. No matter how often I go without sleep, or how frustrated I get doing it, because the alternative, going without you? That's worse than anything I ever could have imagined."

 

Gabriel swallowed hard and remembered the day that Sam had picked him as muse. The day the six year old version of Sam had run towards him, his entire face lit up with excitement as he proclaimed that he had gotten his first pick of muse. That he had been Sam's first pick.

 

He’d written a thousand love scenes, or tossed out ideas for them, rather, but it was rather late to the game for him to realize exactly what it is that he's feeling. In a moment, their bond suddenly strengthens and flares between them, hot and white. He was bound to Sam, and only Sam now. Hell, he couldn't be happier about that if he tried.

 

He could already feel the bonds with his other Aspirants starting to fade and Sam was staring at him in shock. Sam had probably read everything there was to know about muse-bonds, so he likely knew what just happened. _Dammit_ , if he'd gotten his head out of his ass, he could have been fooling around with Sam for years at this point, Sam was twenty-four and the deeper bond had the potential to form at eighteen.

 

"Gabriel?" Sam croaked, his voice hoarse, his hand pressed to his heart where he could feel Gabriel's presence even more than before. It was deeper and warmer than he could have ever imagined the bond feeling and he never wanted it to stop. "What just-"

 

"Hey Sam," Gabriel drawled, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he sauntered towards Sam, grinning bright and wicked. "I've got an idea." The same words that he's said to Sam a hundred times over in a hundred different ways. Except this time, he had a feeling that this would be one of his best ideas.

 

Sam raised an eyebrow at Gabriel. "Oh?"

 

Gabriel smirked. "I think you should take me to bed, since I love you too, you grumpy bastard."

 

Sam blinked in surprise for a second before he grinned, bright and wide. "So that was-"

 

"Absolutely a permanent muse-bond, which does require physical confirmation, so, if you'd like me to take several thousand years worth of experience into your bedroom..." Gabriel trailed off with a raised eyebrow, glancing in that direction. Sam's grin hadn't dimmed, if anything, it got even brighter when he announced that yes, they had a permanent muse-bond now and he wasn't going anywhere.

 

Sam grabbed Gabriel's hand and tugged him into the bedroom, shutting the door behind them. He spun Gabriel again and reached down and cupped his face. "You're sure you want this, with me?"

 

Gabriel laughed and reached up, tangling his fingers in Sam's hair. "Sam, the muse-bond isn't a mistake. You can feel how much I want this, can't you?"

 

Sam laughed again and leaned down to kiss Gabriel, pressing him up and against the door. He could feel Gabriel, and how much Gabriel was enjoying every single second of their kiss, even if it was their first one. By the time they broke apart for air, the warmth in his chest from Gabriel had gotten decidedly hotter than it had been before.

 

"I am a fucking idiot," Gabriel grumbled, getting both of his hands into Sam's hair, pulling him down and into another kiss that went far dirtier and when they broke apart, they were both panting. "We could have been doing this when you turned eighteen, Sam! All of the wasted time!"

 

Sam laughed and grinned at Gabriel, licking his lips. "Well, it's a damn good thing that I can skip a few classes and get Jess to give me the notes while I take a day off so we can spend the day in bed, then, huh?"

 

Gabriel lit up and pushed away from Sam, sauntering towards the bed. "Hey Sam, want to know the best part about wearing togas?"

 

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You've said it for years. Easy access," he recited, raising an eyebrow.

 

Gabriel pulled the straps of the toga off of his shoulders and let the entire garment drop in a pool to his feet, showing Sam that he was wearing nothing underneath. "Precisely. Though I think now, you're really starting to get the picture of what 'easy access' means, huh?"

 

Sam licked his lips and approached Gabriel. "Fuck, Gabriel, you're gorgeous."

 

Gabriel turned and winked at Sam before flopping back on the bed. "I am aware, thank you! Now, I will tell you, this bed is very large and I am very lonely. Care to rectify both of those problems?"

 

Sam stripped off his shirt and tossed it to the floor behind him and then started on the buckle of his jeans. A low whistle from Gabriel made him pause and he looked up at the bed. "What?"

 

Gabriel grinned. "Been a while since I've seen you shirtless. Last time was when you were what, nineteen? Twenty? You grew up nice, Sam."

 

Sam laughed and got his jeans the rest of the way off and kicked them into a pool on the ground. "Well, I've wanted you since I knew what it meant to want something, so you could say that you were a serious formative influence," he said, kicking off his socks as well, before he knelt on the edge of the bed.

 

"Sometime this century, kiddo?" Gabriel said, stretching and putting both of his hands behind his head, showing himself off to Sam.

 

"Give me a second," Sam said, his voice hoarse. "I've imagined you here a hundred thousand times. Having a little bit of a hard time believing it."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

Gabriel's smile softened and he leaned up and pressed a kiss to Sam's shoulder and then to his neck and up to his jaw. "Well, I am absolutely here. Here and really, really ready to get the show started. Why don't you show me what you've spent the last eight years learning, hmm? Maybe I'll teach you a few tricks."

 

Sam gave a delighted grin and crawled on top of Gabriel, leaning down to press their foreheads together. "I have no doubt that you could teach me a ton of stuff, but this time, I'm just going to do my best to make sure that you forget anyone that you've ever been with before."

 

He leaned in and gave Gabriel another kiss, taking his time with this one, slowly nibbling and sucking at Gabriel's lips until the muse was gasping into his mouth, his body shaking a little bit. Sam only paused in the kissing long enough to take a deep breath before he dove in again, claiming Gabriel's mouth with his, kissing him every single way he had dreamed about and then again, because he would never get enough.

 

"Fuck, Sam," Gabriel breathed, their bond pulsing with the intensity of emotion Sam was feeling while he was kissing him like this. "I didn't know humans _could_ kiss like that."

 

Sam smirked and leaned down to kiss his way to Gabriel's ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth, pressing his whole body up and against Gabriel. "I think I'll show you a lot of things that humans can do that weren't willing to do to you," he breathed into Gabriel's ear, feeling the muse shudder underneath him. He kissed his way down Gabriel's neck, to the very base and bit down, sucking some of the soft, golden skin into his mouth.

 

Gabriel bucked underneath him and moaned, loud and long and Sam wasn't able to keep from groaning against his skin. He would leave his mark on Gabriel, make sure that everyone who saw the muse knew who he belonged to. Maybe Gabriel would even mark him up in return. He shuddered, hard and gasped, rocking his hips forward, desperate for another touch from Gabriel.

 

"Right, well, guess I didn't need to ask for that," Gabriel managed to pant out, spreading his legs wide for Sam. "You can do that as much as you want. All over, even. Want your mark on me, Sam. I have your mark on my soul, want it on my body."

 

Sam moaned against Gabriel's skin and pulled back to stare at him. "You can't say shit like that, it's not fucking fair!" he growled, leaning in to kiss Gabriel's already swollen lips again. By the time he surfaced for air, Gabriel's eyes were almost glowing gold and they were hot and fixed on him.

 

Gabriel smirked up at Sam and leaned back in his chair, staring up at him with a pleased look on his face. "Well, I'll say whatever I want, thank you, Mister Winchester. Now, how about getting along with that claiming?"

 

Sam growled and leaned down, sucking another harsh mark into Gabriel's throat, working his way slowly down Gabriel's golden skin, reaching up to pin his arms to the bed. Gabriel bucked underneath him, groaning loud and long. "My neighbors are going to hate me," he grumbled, grinning at Gabriel after a moment to show that he was teasing.

 

"More like jealous because of all the awesome sex you are now having, if we can move along!" Gabriel snarked and then gasped as Sam's lips closed over a nipple and sucked. _Hard_. "Fucking hell, kid, are you trying to drive me crazy?"

 

"No," Sam said, pulling his mouth away from Gabriel to look up at him. "Driving you crazy would be me getting my mouth on every single inch of your skin before I even thought about touching your cock. Would be to have you sweating, begging, pleading and desperate for me. That would be driving you crazy."

 

Gabriel whined and bucked his hips up, rubbing them against Sam's stomach. "Sam, please, I want-"

 

"I know," Sam said, reaching down and wrapping a hand around Gabriel's dick, giving him a slow squeeze and pump of his fist. "Is this what you want? Or my mouth? Or more?"

 

"All of it," Gabriel demanded, his thighs shaking as he pushed up and into Sam's hand, groaning at the delicious, perfect pleasure that was Sam's hand. "Fuck, Sam, come on, please."

 

Sam laughed a little and pulled his head away, watching as Gabriel growled at him. It didn't take long at all for him to get pushy and demanding again. He leaned back and admired Gabriel spread out for him as he debated on exactly what he wanted to. "Can I admit something?"

 

"Now?" Gabriel said impatiently, sitting up on his elbows to give Sam a half-hearted glare.

 

Sam gave Gabriel a shy grin and shrugged. "I always pictured you taking charge. I'm a little bit at a loss for what I want to do first."

 

Just like that, the temperature in the room ratcheted up and Gabriel smirked, pushing himself up a little bit higher. "Is that so? You want me to take charge? Be the one to mark you up as well?"

 

Sam nodded and swallowed hard. "Yeah, please?"

 

"Done," Gabriel growled, reaching up and yanking on Sam, rolling the taller man underneath him, staring at him for a long moment. "Jesus kid, you are fucking gorgeous, you know that?"

 

Sam laughed and gasped as Gabriel started to assault his neck, leaving hot pinpricks of pain as he kissed and bit his way down towards his chest. "You've mentioned it a few times now."

 

"It bears repeating," Gabriel said, licking his lips as he teased his tongue along a chiseled collar bone. "Several million times over. Are you going to tell me what you want-"

 

"Other than you?" Sam teased, grinning at Gabriel.

 

Gabriel was relatively positive that he would do anything in the world to keep that smile on Sam's face. Pretty much anything, up to and including murder. Sam always deserved to smile like that, beautiful darling that he was. "Yes, other than me. Like, tell me one of your favorite fantasies. What did you imagine me doing?"

 

Sam huffed out a laugh and stared at the ceiling. "My favorite fantasy? All right. You were teasing me, of course. I was probably, eighteen, nineteen at the time."

 

Gabriel hummed against Sam's skin as he kissed lower, sucking a nipple into his lips, motioning for Sam to keep talking.

 

Sam swallowed down a gasp and groaned, arching up and into Sam's mouth. "Fuck, but it was summer, and you would always complain about how hot it was here and that I needed a new air conditioner. But you'd wander around shirtless, and I could see the sweat trailing down your lower back and stomach and into those harem pants that you would wear all of the time," he panted.

 

Gabriel grinned against Sam's skin and pressed a kiss to his heart where he could feel the bond happily pulsing. "I do like those pants, I should start wearing them again. Bet you'd rip them off me, wouldn't you?"

 

"Fuck," Sam swore, moaning loudly. "That was exactly what I wanted to do with them. I don't think I've ever jerked off so much in my life. I wanted to rip them off you, pull them down with my teeth, blow you through them, you name it, that's what I wanted."

 

Gabriel groaned and paused in his exploration of Sam's skin to lift his head and look up at him. "Jesus, kid."

 

"That's tame compared to my imagination," Sam said with a laugh. "Oh fuck, but my favorite fantasy, would be the ones where you'd be teasing me, and I'd just pin you to the wall and kiss you, kiss you until you fucking melted in my arms and started to kiss me back."

 

Gabriel's breath caught and he smiled, leaning down to kiss Sam's belly button, his fingers digging into the meat of Sam's thighs. "Then what?"

 

"Oh god," Sam groaned, his hips bucking up and into Gabriel's touch. "Depended on the fantasy. Sometimes I'd drop to my knees and blow you through those pants. Other times, you'd spin me around, pin me to the door and drop to your knees."

 

Gabriel chuckled and paused, his lips just above where Sam's dick was straining, precome pearling at the tip. "Was that your favorite? The one where I was on my knees for you like a good little worshipper?"

 

Sam moaned, his hands dropping to the sheets, clenching them tight. "Oh god, fuck, yes, I imagined it so many times over."

 

Gabriel smirked at Sam again and leaned down, sucking a mark into Sam's quivering inner thigh. "Is that so? Well, maybe I'll have to oblige."

 

Sam whined and sucked in a desperate breath, looking down at Gabriel as that tongue, the same wicked one that he had fantasized about for years, slowly licked across the top of his cock before trailing down the underside. "Gabriel," he managed to get out.

 

"Mmm, I do like the sound of you moaning my name," Gabriel said, raising an eyebrow at Sam. "Now, I'm just going to point out that I'm decidedly not human, and while I do need to breathe, you can't choke me, so I expect you to enjoy yourself and not hold back."

 

Sam whimpered and tightened his fists in the sheets. "Gabriel..."

 

Gabriel gave another pleased hum and sealed his lips over the tip of Sam's cock, sucking nice and hard. He made sure to swallow Sam down slowly, inch by inch until Sam was a shaking, trembling mess underneath him. Sam was a big boy, in all of the ways that mattered, and fuck he couldn't wait to have this inside him.

 

"Oh Gabriel, fuck, please," Sam panted, reaching up to touch Gabriel's hair gently, combing through it. He wanted to push him down, fuck up and into his mouth, but that could wait til next time when he wasn't trying to behave himself.

 

Gabriel bobbed his head up and down in Sam's lap easily, swallowing him down and then pulling off to lick at the translucent liquid at the tip. "Mmm, you taste better than I would have thought, kid."

 

Sam managed out a laugh that sounded a lot like a groan. "I almost feel like I should be insulted by that, Gabriel."

 

Gabriel chuckled and pressed a kiss to the cut of Sam's hip bone, shaking his head. "Take it for the compliment that it obviously is and I'll make sure to show you exactly what I mean one of these days," he said, wrapping a hand around the base of Sam's cock, squeezing firmly as he turned his attentions back to the head.

 

Sam was struggling not to buck under him and Gabriel hummed as he bobbed his head lower, making Sam shout with the additional sensations. It wouldn't take Sam long now, and fuck he could not wait to taste the human, his human.

 

"Gabriel," Sam moaned, his hips making small, aborted thrusting movements into Gabriel's mouth as he could feel his orgasm getting closer and closer with every single moment that went by. "Fuck, Gabriel, I'm not gonna-"

 

Gabriel pulled off and stared up at Sam, licking his lips. "Don't care how long you want to last, have to taste you, need to, let me do it, let me take care of you," Gabriel rambled, diving back in to suck Sam all of the way down, both of his hands gently squeezing and teasing at Sam's balls.

 

Sam gasped and slammed his eyes shut, his hips bucking into Gabriel's mouth twice more before it was all over and he was arching off the bed, screaming Gabriel's name as he came. The bond between them flared, white and hot with him and Sam fell back to the bed, completely dizzy with how good it had felt.

 

Weight settled across his thighs and Sam forced his eyes open to look at Gabriel and what he was doing. His cock gave a valiant twitch as he realized that Gabriel was stroking himself, fast and desperate, short moans escaping him between words.

 

"Fuck, kid, you have any idea what you look like like that? Want you, want to make a mess of you, have you scream again and again for me and-ahhh," Gabriel moaned his head falling back as Sam wrapped a hand around him instead and started stroking, fast and determined.

 

"Yes," Sam panted, his mind still swimming with how good that orgasm had been and how white-hot and glorious the bond felt between the both of them. "Yes, Gabriel, let me see you, want to see you lose control, please, please," he begged, teasing his thumb across the tip of Gabriel's cock before he pulled his hand away.

 

"Sam," Gabriel whined, his hips bucking into the air. He opened his eyes to glare at Sam when big hands were suddenly wrapped around his hips and he was yanked forward to sit on Sam's stomach. "Woah, kiddo!"

 

"Come on," Sam said, tugging on Gabriel's hips again. "Let me taste you, just like this. Taste and watch you, lose control, come on, Gabriel, please," Sam begged.

 

Gabriel groaned and shifted again, crawling forward until he was straddling Sam's shoulders and bracing his hands on the headboard of Sam's bed. "You aren't real, kiddo," Gabriel panted.

 

"Yes I am," Sam growled, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the tip of Gabriel's cock, groaning as some of the precome smeared across his lips before Gabriel gave a slow thrust forward, driving his dick deeper into his mouth. Sam moaned and let his eyes flutter shut, bobbing his head as much as he could.

 

Gabriel was almost entirely in control and the small moans escaping from him were enough to make Sam open his eyes again. He focused on the muse on top of him and groaned around the erection in his mouth, feeling Gabriel start to swell. A fine sheen of sweat covered Gabriel's entire torso, his hair stuck to his neck and golden eyes were completely riveted on his face. He was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen.

 

Sam moaned again and tilted his head, swallowing around the head of Gabriel's cock. Gabriel shouted above him, his entire body shaking and Sam only had a second to pull back enough to breathe before his mouth was flooded with come and the bond went white-hot and violent in pleasure.

 

The bond thrashed between the both of them until it snapped into place again, wide open and a much deeper connection than what they had shared previously. Sam reached up, running his hand along Gabriel’s thigh, because it was trembling. Gabriel pulled away from him just enough to immediately cuddle up against his chest and Sam hummed, wrapping an arm around his muse.

 

The bond was different now, and Sam could almost feel how content and pleased Gabriel was with everything that has happened. He shifted and pressed a kiss to the top of Gabriel’s head and smiled, tugging the blanket up and over them. “Hey Gabriel?”

 

Gabriel made a grumpy noise against his chest and burrowed in closer. Sam smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “You were right. Best idea ever.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Criticisms welcome!
> 
> You can find me here: 
> 
> [Aria-Lerendeair ](http://aria-lerendeair.tumblr.com/)
> 
> You can also watch me write fics like this (and dozens of others) live! Follow me on Livestream for fics, shenanigans and a general all-around awesome time! http://new.livestream.com/accounts/7212317


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